Mondays and Reptilian Werewomen

Hey ho how does it go?

Nice weekend one and all I trust?

Mine was fine and dandy. Watched some more bad movies. They're really starting to pile up. Starting to be awhile since I saw a good one...

Anyway, this weekend I watched Get Smart, The X-Files movie, and The Happening. They all sucked.

Now I'm a pretty big Steve Carell fan. I love The Office. I dug his schtick on The Daily Show, but he needs to stick to movies that are well-written. There's some guys like Jim Carrey who are occassionally in a movie where there's barely a script - just scenes that say "In this scene we'll just let Jim go nuts", and oftentimes he can just pull something funny out of his ass. At least in the olden days of the Ace Ventura era. Steve Carell is not that guy. He needs a strong script like The 40 Year Old Virgin to really go to town. Get Smart did not have a good script. Would seem like this kind of James Bond parody thing would be a no-brainer to bring the funny but ouch. Big time ball-droppage by whoever wrote this thing. A million confusing things happen and they're all boring. Anne Hathaway was pretty believable as a secret agent though.

The X-Files was even worse. Just an incomprehensible mess. Once again, I was a big ol' fan of the series and watched it all the way through to the bitter Gish-y end. This would seem like another movie that would practically write itself, but nope. I couldn't make heads nor tails of the plot and I wasn't even sure by the end of the movie what kind of relationship Mulder and Scully were supposed to have. Did they live together or what? Pure muddled confusion. And gee whiz, note to whoever in Hollywood keeps casting Amanda Peet as a commanding authority figure: Stop. Sigourney Weaver she is not. Joan Allen she is not. Courtney Cox roles are more her speed I'm thinking.

Finally, the worst (and sort of the best) of the lot was M. Night Shyamalan's latest epic The Happening. This one is so bad it's almost good. It's simply fascinating in it's awfulness. Shyamalan really seems to have completely lost his mind. I feel kinda bad for Marky Mark even. He gives a tour de force of bad acting in this movie. I lay the blame squarely at the director's feet though. He has poor Marky actually attempt to engage a plastic house plant in conversation. Oh, and everyone spends most of the movie running away from... the wind. I kind of recommend renting this movie simply because this level of bad needs to be seen to be believed. Invite your friends. Break out the beers or the bud and roll in the aisles.

Okay, so there you go. A pack of worthless Monday babble for your time-wasting pleasure. I hope I see a good movie soon. I'll let you know when I do.

But wait, you say, what does all this have to do with the price of beans and reptilian werewomen?

I give you Exhibit A:


















Toodles!